This is a long read. But worth it.
One of the most long winded, but satisfying revenge schemes we’ve seen. For all those who’ve been messed around with by crazy ex partners, meet Redditor cannonballjug. He got messed around and decided to take some pretty most intense and long winded revenge against his ex fiancee. It gets pretty twisted, but he seems satisfied.
“I apologize up front for the rather lengthy post, but it’s all true and was my greatest revenge. It all starts about 10 years ago. I was happily engaged to a girl who I knew for about 9 years but had only been dating for about 1 year. Let’s call her “Nancy McFu****C***bag”. All was good, she had her dream engagement ring, we had a nice house together, both had steady jobs and the wedding plans were coming along nicely. About two months prior to the wedding we found out we were going to have a baby! Such happiness had never been felt before. Wedding plans continued and the big day was only 28 days away.”
How lovely right? So far so good. But it gets intense fast.
“I come home from work and find that Nancy isn’t home. I call her to see if she got held up at work and to see what time she might be home. But Nancy wasn’t at work, she was at her grandmother’s house, in another state. Nancy calmly told me that she no longer wanted to get married and that she was not coming home.Complete and utter shock. What just happened? I try to call her back, her phone is off. I call her grandmother, no answer. What about the wedding? What about our baby? What about everything? No answers. No contact for three days. Three days of no breath in my body, no clues, nothing. On day four Nancy shows up and starts packing her stuff. She won’t say a word to me. Nothing. She leaves and sends me an email saying that she can’t be with me, again no reasons.”
As any normal man or prospective husband would, Cannonballjog decided to investigate and do some sleuthing.
Things don’t look good at this stage.
“I begin calling her sister and asking what happened. Her sister tells me that she has no idea but gives me their mom’s phone number. Strange, Nancy said her mom was out of the picture because she was an abusive alcoholic. Nevertheless I call mom. Mom tells me that I am lucky number three who has fallen for this trap. Nancy cut mom out of her life so mom couldn’t ruin Nancy’s game of milking guys for money and resources. Nancy has been pregnant twice before and had “miscarriages” and milked guys for everything she could before running off to super Christian grandma’s house and claiming abuse so grandma will take her in until the dust settles and she can do it again. What. The. F***.”
“Nancy”‘s actions start to have an effect on his health.
“Weeks go by and still no contact with Nancy. I’ve lost 20 pounds and have been counseled at my job for poor work performance. My family is mad as f***. Family members lost money on travel plans to the wedding, and I am mortified. I lost all of the deposits on everything for the wedding since it was less than 30 days before it was cancelled. I’m p*** broke. I check our joint bank account, negative $2k. F***. Guess I won’t be paying the mortgage.I start to get my **** together and my sadness turns to rage. I had so much anger inside of me I actually had to scale it back a bit or I might have gone to prison.”
She adds insult to injury by ending things by text.
“A month and a half after the split I get a text. “I had a miscarriage, you stressed me out too much and my daughter is dead now”……. Daughter? I was having a daughter? You’re blaming me for this? That’s it, I’m going to kill….. No, wait…. Breathe…. Get your **** together…. Take this ***** apart at the seems. A few days of Xanax and whiskey get me over the hump of sadness again… Back to rage… Let’s do this.”
I mean, that’s not really a great way to medicate yourself when you are boiling over with pure rage. But whatever.
“Most of Nancy’s s*** was still at my house (which I have to walk away from because I can afford it). I start to pack it all up and in order to get rid of it somehow. But I stumble upon a few things. Her résumé and her checkbook to her personal bank account. I read her résumé, it’s all BS like everything else. I hop on the computer, create a new yahoo email address and send a long letter to her corporate office telling them line-by-line how it’s all lies. Feels good. Operation checkbook. I sign her name on every check and rip them all out of the book. I drive 30 minutes to the seediest part of town and leave them on a sidewalk in front of an AM PM… Too much good stuff. I go back home and throw out all of her ****. F*** it. Sue me *****. Except her laptop, I keep that. Two weeks go by. Nancy calls, I don’t answer. Voicemail says she got laid off due to cut backs. I know that’s not true. Two more weeks go by and letters from some District Attorney’s bad check restitution program begin to trickle in the mail. Yeah. Oh and the registration renewal for her car. Shred all that. Oh, while I’m at it I might as well put a change of address in for her at the post office. Where to? The temporary shelter for the homeless sounds good. I hear through a mutual friend that since Nancy is out of work now she is staying with friends and supported financially by super Christian grandma.”
Things are starting to feel satisfying for the guy. Life is taking a definite bad turn for Nancy too – with a little help.
At least lovely grandma has stepped in to help out. End of her troubles right? Not really…
“I hop on her laptop and make a new yahoo email address that is only one number different from Nancy’s real email. I email super Christian grandma a video of Nancy [doing pretty unspeakable things] that I had saved. I titled the email “hey grandma check out this video I took of my job, I hope I uploaded it right” Yeah. Email reply. “You are disgusting. I hope your new job pays well because I’m not supporting you if you act like that” Oh, damn.. A two for one deal. Embarrassment and financial distress. Noice.”
A little extreme perhaps to involve innocent grandma in this? But he obviously felt like she was necessary collateral damage.
“Weeks go by and I get a call from Rent-a-Center. WTF? Oh they want all of Nancy’s furniture back. I had no idea it was rent to own. I tell them I don’t have it. They argue and say she says in have it. I stick to my guns and tell them I do not have it and I don’t know where it is. That night I burn it all in the yard. $4200 owed. Zing. I find out that Nancy has a new job and as I am planning my next move I hear great news. Nancy has been arrested and is in jail for embezzlement. Apparently she had some money problems and stole $5k out of petty cash and got busted. Oh god this is great.”
“Months go by with no updates, and then I hear from a friend that she was bailed out of jail by grandma after only a few days and ended up taking a plea bargain for a felony conviction and three years of probation along with restitution. Rekt. I hang my hat and call it a day. I have gotten my revenge. I’ll leave it there, time to move on.”
Seems like he is addicted to revenge as he doesn’t stop.
“A couple months later the phone rings. It’s a repo company looking for info on where Nancy is because they are trying to repossess her car. Hahaha, ok, one last nail in the coffin. I make a few calls and find the address where she is staying. I call the repo company back and give them the info. They thank me and say I am eligible for a $100 reward if they get the car back. “No thanks, this one’s on me.””
So what became of Nancy and where is she now?
Unsurprisingly her life is looking pretty bleak.
“Nancy is now a felon, jobless, and a single mom of a kid she recently had from some random guy. She lives in an apartment with her brother and his girlfriend. I am happily married with a beautiful daughter and a great life. Yesterday I get a Facebook message from Nancy. “Congrats on the marriage and daughter, I’m glad you’re happy”
Time to forgive and forget? Erm, no.
“I reply, “Go **** yourself :)” she blocked me. Life is good. Sometimes taking the low road heals the soul.”